PARENTING SANITY SAVERS FOR THOSE SOARING GAS PRICES
By Michele Borba | July 24, 2008
Here is a recent question I received from a mom about those soaring gas prices and trying to keep the kiddies content. If it helps, pass it on to others, please!
QUESTION
I have 3 little ones! 1 1/2 and 4 and 6? I’m a stay at home mom and this summer I think is going to drive me crazy with gas going up! What are some ideas that we should do with out put a hole in my pocket?
ANSWER
I hear you! Gas prices have put a damper on family’s summer plans. And right now is when those “I’m bored” kid comments can wear on our nerves. Here are a few ideas and then I’d love to hear from other moms out there on summer sanity savers — and many of these ideas are also ones to join forces with other moms as a Momtourage to save you extra driving time:
1. Carpool. Don’t carpool everywhere and anywhere. It’s too costly. Instead find at least one other mom who can share the expenses and the time. Your kids do not have to be friends — or even like each other — all you’re looking for is the same destination to get to.
2. Recyle. Put a bin somewhere and save toilet paper and paper towel tubes, envelopes, small boxes. Then give your kids masking tape, glue and marking pens and let them be creative. (Forts, towers, etc). Pipecleaners are fabulous as well. The trick is to look around your house for no cost items to beat driving somewhere to give your kids something new. Find new things at home.
3. Rotate toys. With the neighbors (or hide your kids’ toys–for just two weeks). Not all, just a few. My girlfriend would do that and her kids always thought it was heaven to play with “new stuff.” (Go figure). You can do the same with girlfriends: exchange videos, books, games, puzzles. Things that you won’t be too upset over if you never get them back, but will seem like new things to your kids.
4. Picnics. In your living room or backyard. Just something different excites kids (for an hour anyway). And I’m not suggesting you be Martha Stewart here… peanut butter and jelly is fine. Or just a snack.
5. Drive in movies. Move a tv with a DVD player outside (it’s hot where I am.. evenings are tough!) and you can look forward all day to going to a drive-in movie (outdoors). And consider renting those movies online. They are delivered to your home and actually can be cheaper by the month if you watch a lot (with your husband at night). Otherwise, use the library and check out those classics. But again, consider rotaing them among girlfriends to save the cost.
6. Flashlights and sheets. Don’t know why it works, but giving kids sheets and towels to cover anything seems to be magical. Turn off the lights (or if you have fear-of-the-dark critters, keep them on). They make forts and wonderful villages.
7. Internet. Your older child (SUPERVISED) can learn about a hobby. Choose any interest. Castles, dinosaurs, baseball. And each day print off one new thing your whole family can read and learn about.
8. Sand. Water. Mud. Kids love them and they don’t cost a dime! Moms hate the mud part. So you can eliminate the dirt. But look around your house for old spoons, cups, pots. Your kids are the perfect age for a sandbox - or water. Add a bit of dishwasher soap and give them a pipecleaner or a clotheshanger bent into a round shape and they can make bubbles forever.
9. Chalk. Keep those small pieces stored away. Sidewalk chalk and kids go handy. It’s rather inexpensive at the dollar stores. The smaller pieces are great to use on paper. Add a bit of starch on a piece of paper and it slips and slides as drawings.
10. Cooking. Check out a cookbook at the library — one for kids. And once a day or week have a cooking party. Ideally get another mom to join up with you and share the expenses.
11. Organize. I know. Terrible word. But if you make a list of things you can use (like sidewalk chalk and pipecleaners) and then make one run to the store, you’ll be supplied for a few weeks. The trick is to only bring out one thing at a time. Or pick up one great book on games and play you can teach your kids (I love Bobbi Conner’s Unplugged Play because most games and activities don’t cost a dime and involve things you already have around the house.
12. Hobbies. Look around your house again and sort things into potential hobbies.. Take coloring books (the big pictures) and trace the shape with a big black marking pen on a sheet — burlap is ideal — big towels work as well. Give your kid a big plastic needle with a piece of yarn. You have to thread and tie it into a knot. But I’ve done this with 6 and 7 year olds as a teacher. They love to sew. Then you take each square and eventually turn it into a quilt (mini mini mini size. Or do you have a hammer, nails and pieces of scrap wood (for the older child). It’s a carpentry center. Arts and crafts materials that you already have. Resort them into one box. Or towels, hats and clothes you want to get rid of? Put them into a bin. Dress up!
All I’m suggesting is to look around your house for things you already have that you can just tweak a bit for kids to play with (and beat that cost) and also save the price of going somewhere to pick things up. You’re right. Gas prices are soaring and driving back and forth is anything but cost effective.
All the best!
Michele Borba
www.micheleborba.com
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference | No Comments »
HOW TO HELP RAISE GIRLS WITH HEALTHY BODY IMAGES AND COUNTER THOSE IDEALIZED MEDIA IMAGES
By Michele Borba | July 22, 2008
I receive dozens of letters each week from parents. Unfortunately I can’t get to answering them all, but do try in this blog or in my Parenting Secrets blog I write for iVillage. This query from a mom about the media impact on our daughter’s body image concerned me so, I wanted to include my response here.
QUESTION I’m concerned about all of the idealized images of women in the media and I’m wondering how best to raise my daughter with a healthy body image and a strong sense of self esteem before she hits her tween years… Is there any practical advice you can provide or a resource available to help encourage daughters to avoid being influenced by idealized celebrity and model images, especially considering how much more they’re being inundated by them these days? Thanks!
ANSWER I too am so concerned about our girls’ quest for a picture perfect look. With today’s epidemic of “celebrititis” their quest is escalating to the “dangerously unhealthy” level. Size 0. Pencil-thin models. Celebrity after celebrity flaunted for being so “perfect” because they are so “small.” And it is doing a number on their emotional as well as physical health. We are seeing a sharp increase in eating disorders, depression, stress and unhealthy perfectionism—and at YOUNGER AND YOUNGER AGE.
This statistic should shake us up: 80% of ten-year-old girls say they’re afraid of being fat. Most said they felt better about themselves when they are dieting. Eating disorders are now being diagnosed in girls in the FIRST GRADE. And our sons are being diagnosed with eating disorders as well.
So here are six tips to turn this troubling trend around:
1. Downsize appearance. The key is to make sure you don’t just talk it, but walk it as well. Talk up healthier female role models, where you emphasize their hearts and minds and not their dress size. They can be out there in celebrityville, but they also can be the woman next door.
2. Praise what you can’t see. Praise does impact self-esteem; if issued correctly. New studies from Stanford University tell us the biggest mistakes we make are lavishing it when it’s unearned and not nurturing those “inside-out” qualities. So deliberately look for virtues, inner strengths, talents and glorious qualities your daughter possesses (her kindness, stamina, patience, artistic sense or creative outlook) and keep emphasizing those same traits. In fact, you’re better to emphasize the same ONE- no more than TWO qualities- for about three weeks. New self-images take a minimum of 21 days to start, so keep repeating the same inside qualities.
3. Curb your tongue. There’s a number of studies that show a direct correlation to what we say and the rise of eating disorders (or the “quest to be super-thin”). Watch your words. “She looks soooooo thin!” “I wonder what diet she’s on?” “She must be a size 2!!!!” Our kids are listening. (And also watching your actions!)
4. Put away the scale. New research finds that when we pull out those scales and encourage our kids to weigh themselves it backfires big time. Don’t emphasize calories and WEIGHT (or dress size). Instead talk about healthier foods and good choices. Emphasize healthy exercise and balanced lifestyles (Hmmm…we all should work on that one).
5. Watch out for negative body image thinking. That’s a mouth full but it’s crucial for parents to understand. New research on 12 to 15-year-olds found that how girls view their body (those views are based on all those images of celebrities as well as the words they hear and see) develops into negative thinking habits. If those negative thoughts are not countered or turned around they will dramatically impact our daughters’ self-esteem and increase their potential for developing eating disorders. The trick is to change the negative thoughts of our girls about their body image.
6. Get a copy of Picture Perfect. You asked for a good resource to help your raise your daughter from the inside out. The best one I’ve seen is called Picture Perfect: What You Need to Feel Better About Your Body by Jill Zimmerman Rutledge. What’s great about this book is that it helps girls learn to catch their negative thoughts and develop healthier images about their body. It also helps the girl develop her own “Special Statement” to counter the negative thoughts and stories of girls who struggle with poor body image issues, worry about their appearance or wealth. And it’s written so your daughter can read it herself!
All the best!
Michele Borba
www.micheleborba.com
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference | No Comments »
WARNING TO PARENTS: Could Your Child Be Shoplifting?
By Michele Borba | July 21, 2008
You see your child take a candy bar from the store and put it in her pocket. You notice your daughter is playing with a Barbie that you told her she couldn’t have at the store. You find a video game in your son’s closet, and know it doesn’t belong to him.
The one behavior that’s guaranteed to shake up even the calmest parent is discovering that their kid has stolen something. Be assured that stealing is far more common than you might realize-especially amongst the younger set with still a flimsy grasp of ownership. Around five and seven is when kids usually understand the hurtful effects of stealing. Once kids realize that stealing violates someone’s rights and can result in serious legal action against them, the problem becomes more serious. And stealing has become a troubling new youth trend:
One in four kids shoplift and a TIME/CNN survey of 9 to 14 years olds found that 36% feel pressure from peers to do so
A survey of 20,000 middle school and high school students found that almost half of all respondents admit stealing something from a store in the previous 12 months
More than a quarter of high school students said they had committed store theft at least two times.
Storeowners tell me shoplifting is so common that they have had to install security cameras and hire guards—and youths are always the biggest offenders. Malls across the country are now demanding parents accompany their kids to try and curtail the problem. Libraries are installing pricey security systems to detect book theft because it is so rampant. Principals complain one of the biggest discipline issues is having to deal with students who are stealing from one another. (Hint on this one: Tell your kid to leave those pricey electronic gadgets at home!)
Police officers also say that summer when kids have free time on their hands is when shoplifting increases – and especially when there is an economic crunch. Though don’t be fooled. Research shows that most kids don’t steal out of financial need or greed. They have more than they could ever need or want.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting Judy Whalen at a conference. This passionate lady is on a mission to turn this troubling trend around. Her website, shopliftingisstealing.com offers great tips for parents and educators. Here are a few of Judy’s warning signs that your child—or his friends–may be shoplifting:
• Price tags or package wrapping are hidden in the trash.
• Goods show up in your house that you do not remember purchasing or your child is has clothes or electronic items that you know he didn’t have the money to buy.
Your child gives pricey gifts to friends or you and is secretive about extra income they get.
• Your child leaves the house with an empty backpack or wears baggy clothes or puts on a jacket when it’s warm outside (which could be indicative of another problem.
• Money or property begins disappearing from family members.
There is one central solution: parents! How parents react to their kids’ stealing can be either destructive or productive in helping them learn right from wrong. The best reaction is to make sure the child understands not only your expectation for honesty, but also why it’s important.
Though stealing is a common childhood problem it should never be allowed. Have you talked to your child? If not, make an appointment! Don’t be caught off guard! One in four kids shoplifts!
Michele Borba
Topics: Parents Do Make A Difference | No Comments »
« Previous Entries